Goodbye Maddy

Maddy Powell-Wiltshire

13^th December 1997 – 25^th June 2011

About eleven months ago in July 2010, we were unemployed due to the death of our last South African feline employer. Originally we were employed by a group of four South African felines but time had taken its toll over the years and in the end there was only Flapjack left.

When she passed away from cancer, we were at a loose end wondering what to do when another servant, Aunt Ann, told us about a possible job opening.

Maddy Powell’s servants had given notice and were moving to Australia, other applicants had already been interviewed and engaged but fortunately for us the arrangement fell through and we were offered the position.

When we first commenced our duties we were very quickly put in our place and the first rule was that the sitting room was almost for her exclusive use, although we were allowed to bring in our lunch and keep her company while she watched the lunchtime news on TV. There was to be a strict routine in the mornings; first of all breakfast had to be served followed by a morning brushing and finally one of us was required to escort her into the garden for her morning constitutional. For several months Aldi's smoked salmon was considered a great treat until we made the mistake of offering her some Waitrose Wild Alaskan Salmon. From that day on, she refused to eat the Aldi's inferior product and glared at us if we even thought of offering it to her!

Maddy was a very kind employer and once our hours had been established, she usually did not disturb us at other times. In the mornings, no call was made on our services until the alarm went off, but then we had better jump to it. She also understood that it had taken her many years to train her previous servants Pat and David so she allowed us a certain amount of leeway and did not chastise us too much when we were less than diligent. Sometimes, however, when we were taking a break in the kitchen from our duties, she would feel like a snack and would blockade the kitchen door until we prepared a meal for her. On other occasions no matter what we were doing we would be summoned into the sitting room to give her a thorough brushing; in fact as far as brushing went she was an addict. When she was ready she would turn over for the other side to be done and she would occasionally lift her head for a chin rub. Woe betide you if you had the impertinence to suggest a chin rub though, it had to be done her way or not at all.

She was a lovely employer however and there was not an ounce of malice in her. To find her paralysed on Saturday morning due to a blood clot came as a terrible shock to us as she was full of life the previous evening and had retired quite late, after partaking of a late evening snack, something to which she was very partial. It was heart wrenching to see her in distress, and although there was nothing that could be done to fix things at least we were able to be with her and to hold and comfort her until the very end.

Maddy, it was wonderful for us to have had the privilege of working for you for these few months, You came into our lives for such a short time, and before we knew it, we were totally besotted with you … you were the centre of the home, winding us round your paw, making us your very willing slaves and absolutely adoring you.

We thank you for this and we thank Pat and Dave Powell for giving us the opportunity of knowing and loving you - your memory will forever be in our hearts and in the words of our daughter Kirsten, who you kindly allowed to visit and stay over one weekend:

“Tears are the applause to a beautiful soul so let them be heard”.

Well Maddy we are applauding you now …….

YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTON AND WILL ALWAYS BE IN OUR HEARTS

Well, the man servant is back from his week in Cornwall looking a little porky and has been galvanised into action by the maid (Cheryl). Sometime I think she is a bit over zealous, but I shouldn’t complain as I do get the benefit of his labours….

I had an embarrassing moment the other morning when the man servant was brushing me, flatulence struck and I couldn’t contain myself. Rick the Man Servant, cheeky bastard that he is, commented “if brushing you this gently makes you fart you are going to shit yourself when I do it harder”. Its times like these when I wonder why I continue to employ him.

 

In spite of the Man Servants cheek, I did allow him to have his parents round on Father’s Day for a meal and once again my good nature was abused as the table was set with an  un-ironed tablecloth…oh my I was so embarrassed.

 

My next door neighbour, Minnie, is venturing out again and seems to have put the trauma of being chased by the large slobbery dog behind her. Mind you, when one is being chased by a dog the best place for it is far behind one ….. the further the better.

I am still a bit anxious when strolling around the estate, after my recent experience with that uncouth Bertie and insist that one of the servants (preferably the woman) accompany me at all times.

 I have been a little under the weather recently and had to visit the clinic yesterday, the Doctor suspects polyps, not down there I hasten to say, but in my throat.

Apparently the throat and ears are connected so I have to have daily drops in my ears, and have also been given a long acting steroid injection which is supposed to last for a month. I hope that I do not have to use the ear drops for that long as they are not very pleasant. If I succumb to this malaise again, I shall have to be anaesthetised and a small camera stuck down my throat which I am not looking forward to at all. I suspect that my Servants are a little worried too possibly because they are more concerned about their wages than they are about my health!!

Well it’s been a fortnight fraught with difficulty.  First of all the Woman Servant has gone traipsing off to “god knows where” …. Cape Town I believe.  She hasn’t even worked for me for a whole year and there she is taking time off without so much as a by your leave. It wouldn’t have been so bad if she had left proper instructions for the Man Servant whose standards have slipped badly since she left.

The first sign that all was not as it should be was on the first morning, while I was taking my morning constitutional in the grounds, escorted by the Man Servant, I felt an urgent need to use the lav. Well, we all have to do that but to be watched by him and the Servant next door poking her head over our wall, was just too much!

Things have slipped so badly that I have to go into the servants quarters first thing in the morning and remind him of the order of his duties i.e. breakfast, then help with brushing my hair and getting ready for the day and finally a stroll round the grounds. Only then should he feel free to prepare his own breakfast. Well he seems to have misread the signals, and has assumed that my coming into his room is some sort of invitation on my part and so he has taken to fondling and kissing me. I shall soon put a stop to that nonsense and I will also have to remind him that if he doesn’t like it there is always the Job Centre just round the corner.

Over the Bank Holiday weekend my man has been replacing the defective floor in the bathroom, it’s only a small bathroom but the way he has been going on one would think he has been rebuilding the Taj Mahal….what nonsense and of course, because of these efforts, meals and grooming have only been done at irregular hours…..yes definately off to the job centre for him.

Another bit of bad news is that there was an intruder in the grounds today ….  Bertie, I think he is called? Anyway he became quite aggressive and I must say the Man Servant did sort him out, but I do think that he could have interceded earlier.

I have been indisposed for the past day or two and took to my bed. Both my Servants took me to the vet who said that my asthma has returned in full force and gave me another steroid injection and I am now feeling much better but I did overhear the vet saying that if it returns they may have to anaesthetise me and look down my throat for something called Polyps … I don’t like the sound of that at all.

The Woman Servant returned from Cape Town exhausted as usual from al lthe travelling and the Man Servant went off to Cornwall on holiday the following day … one does wonder …..

The Servants are very diligent about putting music on for me but what on earth makes them think that I would like 60’s music .. I’m a classical cat!

The Staff, on their evening off,  bought a packet of crisps which they enjoyed whilst watching tv … partook of some of them myself. Not bad I must say.

I sent The Woman went out shopping and she bought what she thought was some delicious Felix Cat Food but it had VEGETABLES in it and of course I wouldn’t touch it .. so I passed it onto Minnie next door .. the one who was frightened by that awful boisterous dog the other day ! I am happy to say she has recovered well.

I am not all that partial to anything but the chicken Felix at the moment.

The Relief Staff member, I think she is called Jan, looked after me very well indeed whilst the regular staff were on their break – so well in fact that I would possibly use her services again.

I am struggling to get my regular 4 or 5 brushes a day and I would really like twice that amount especially with the new grooming glove that Minnie next door very kindly gave me but I do have a suspicion that she doesn’t like it which is why she passed it on.

The grounds are rather nice now especially as the shrubbery has been cut back and no intruders can hide and creep up on me unawares, although Bertie, another next door neighbour, still thinks he has right of way through our grounds.  I am considering having a word with him about this.

The other evening I thought that the Staff were a bit lonely so I went to their quarters to spend half an hour or so with them.  They must have been quite homesick as they spent most of the time chatting about their families.

The Man Servant spent hours laying a garden path today and then he came in and packed for the Woman Servant who is off to foreign parts this time .. she needs the break as she is being exceptionally blonde at the moment but that is too long a story to go into now. I hope the Man Servant pulls his finger out and remembers to open up the house timeously in the mornings, checking the garden for intruders, naturally.

I have changed my mind about the Felix food … I am tired of it so the Woman Servant went out again to buy me some Wiska’s Meaty ones which aren’t too bad. She always spoils me and buys some extra tins of Very Expensive Food for me to enjoy.

Roast tonight and I am sure I shall be offered some “tasters” for my expert opinion before the Staff serve the meal. I always allow the Servants to have whats left which ensures that they cook it properly.

Well, it’s been a very eventful week. First of all, I am pleased to say that my Asthma seems to be under control, claws crossed. Talking of claws, the Male Servant very skilfully, gave me a manicure this morning.

We have had a very eventful Easter Weekend ….. the Servants have been attending to the Estate Gardens and as we have been enjoying lovely sunny weather, I have been taking my ease out there with them, watching them work.  A lot of the undergrowth has been cleared so that there is no danger of me being attacked by skulking feline vagabond footpads! Truly, the grounds are a lot safer now!

Minnie, with her Servant, recently moved into the adjoining estate. Yesterday she had an extremely unpleasant experience and was attacked whilst out on her evening stroll, by a slavering, slobbering, bumptious hound and had to take refuge high up on a wall amongst thick ivy. Fortunately for all concerned, I was on top of the situation and dispatched the Man Servant with a ladder to undertake rescue operations which I am very pleased to say were completely successful especially as Minnie was recently a Day Boarder with us and is a new neighbour and one must “cultivate” one’s neighbours, mustn’t one?

Yesterday, the Woman Servant who was completely exhausted from directing and controlling the Man Servant, took herself out to lunch during which time the Man Servant very commendably, forgoing the opportunity of putting his feet up, unpacked the steam carpet cleaner and proceeded to clean the kitchen carpet. Needless to say, when the Woman Servant returned, full of strong drink, she immediately told him that he shouldn’t have commenced this operation unsupervised and needless to say he had not done a proper job!

The Servants have been complaining that they have been working very hard recently and have requested two days off so that they can have a short break … a break from what, I ask you ?????  They live the Life of Riley here with me,  however I have agreed to their request and have engaged the services of a female “temp”. Not sure if I can deduct the cost of this from their wages though!

I didn't want to start this week's Blog with a complaint but I am afraid I have to. The Servants are driving me crazy. What can be simpler about the morning routine? Food, then a brush, a visit to the Closet, finished off with a second brushing ... simple as that ! Do you think they can get it right? The Man Servant even has the cheek to bring his cup of tea with him when he comes in to do his brushing duty. Oh for the old days when I had everyone wrapped round my little paw!

I had to go to the vet the other day as I was becoming short of breath. I was unable to see my usual surgeon Mr Cook, so had to see Dr Claire. She seemed to think that I had polyps in my throat which sound rather nasty - a bit like having jelly fish down there and nobody wants those - but all is well as it turns out that I was suffering from hay fever and a mild asthma attack.  I must be honest, the deputy vet was very thorough, and she gave me a steroid injection to help with the inflammation in my throat, as well as an anti biotic and by gum, did that steroid kick my appetite into overdrive which rather caught the Servants flat-footed forcing them to make frequent visits to the shops and preparing me lots of extra meals.

I allowed the Servants to entertain some friends to dinner last night which was a sad mistake as there was much carousing and drinking and one couldn't move this morning for empty wine bottles! I certainly didn't expect them to drink a bottle of red wine each and leave the house looking like a tip and I must say that service this morning was certainly not up to scratch!

Skulduggery

Well, things are not too good here as I heard the Servants talking about a friend of theirs, whose feline employer requires temporary accommodation.  Before I go on I just want to say that I wasn’t meant to hear this, but the Male Servant, who is hard of hearing, does tend to below somewhat so I was able to overhear their skulduggery which I will come back to.  Before doing so, I will say, that if the Servants have time to have friends, then they are not busy enough. Oh for the days of Queen Vic when servants knew their place, worked 18 hour days and didn’t answer back!



To get back to the skulduggery going on behind my back, they have offered their friends feline employer temporary accommodation HERE in my house!!

I gather it is only for one day while her new home is being prepared, but nevertheless it’s an absolute cheek and I am going to have to make my feelings very clear as this sort of behaviour is totally unacceptable. I won’t do this until after the event as this would be uncharitable, and I will just have to pretend I don’t know anything about the matter and the Servants had better make damn sure that this unwanted visitor is kept well out of sight.



On a more positive note, the Servants have become quite efficient at opening the bedroom curtains whilst I am enjoying my breakfast so that the sunny windowsill is ready for my convenience as soon as I have finished eating. The Maidservant went out yesterday and purchased some Burns Senior citizen cat food which is supposed to be the very best; if it’s not, I look forward to projectile vomiting it over the new carpets and they can get down on their hands and knees and clean up the mess.



The Man Servant’s poor hearing is a bit of a problem as when he is on duty in the kitchen with the door closed, he very often doesn’t hear me calling out to be let in. This is very distressing and inconvenient but fortunately the Woman Servant doesn’t have such a disability and she is very quick to open the door for me.