This and That

My goodness, what a bad start to the day. I heard the alarm go off at 6.30 and made my way to the dining area and guess what .. not a servant to be seen. They do say patience is a virtue but this particular morning my patience was stretched to the limit and I had to make my way to the Servants Quarters where I found that they had both overslept but I soon sorted that out simply by jumping on the bed and walking all over the Woman ….  that gave her a shock I can tell you and she jumped out of bed, highly embarrassed and apologetic and prepared my breakfast.

After my breakfast was served, she boiled the kettle and whilst the tea was drawing, I got my morning brushing after which I invariably need a bowel movement so I chirrup at the Woman Servant who seems to know exactly what I want and she goes downstairs to open the door to my earth-closet in the basement as I don’t seem to be able to use the cat flap in the early morning. Only after all this does the Man Servant get his morning cup of tea …… and quite rightly so! Although the Woman does spoil him by giving it to him in bed!!

The other day the Woman Servant put some celery in a bowl of lightly salted water to soak and I must admit that that water is really delicious and tastes a lot better than the filtered water in my own bowl.

The Butler left the Radio and TV guide on the floor and of course I had to run at it like a kitten and shred it to show who is boss.

Last Monday THAT WOMAN had the effrontery to put me in a basket and haul me off to the vet.   He turned out to be a jumped up young German whipper-snapper who without so much as a bye-your-leave inspected my teeth and had the cheek to say that I was missing a few.    He then stuck a needle in me for my inoculation, which for some reason the authority’s insist upon, fortunately the Woman Servant remembered my instructions and made sure he gave it to me in two parts so that I wasn’t poorly and tomorrow I go again to have the next one done.  With any luck it won’t be the German Vet, the sooner he is back over the channel the better, as far as I am concerned!

Burglars

Well it's been a very busy week!  The other night, feeling that I needed a light snack, whilst my Servants were asleep, I made my way into the kitchen only to find we'd had burglars. A great big burly Roast Potato and a viscious Roast Parsnip were both lurking by the kitchen window. There was no time to call the staff so I had to handle the situation myself single-handedly and after a long and tireing battle, managed to overcome them both and leave them for dead on the floor. You can just imagine the Servants sense of wonderment when they discovered them first thing the following morning although I must admit they were a little shame-faced that they hadn't heard them breaking in and dealt with them themselves.

All things considered, the Servants are not working out too badly although I think I have rather exhausted the Footman as he appears to have pulled a muscle in his back and has taken to his bed with much moaning and groaning in the night. It would appear that on several nights this pain was so intense (remember he IS a man after all) that it woke him up at 2.30 in the morning and he was unable to return to his slumbers. The Woman Servant, being the caring person she has proved to be, was up in a trice, made him a cup of tea, hot water bottle and was bending over him mopping his  fevered brow when I wandered in demanding a snack and of course a brushing in front of the fire which I had to insist was lit for me.


Last week the Man Servant got up at 04.30 to take someone to Birmingham as part of his duties, and would you believe it, after I had been so rudely awakened by him he neglected to inquire whether I required sustinance and a brushing and I had to leave my bedchamber and go to the kitchen to order some very early morning refreshment.

It's really not good enough !!

Maddy's Musings 4

While the Female Servant was away, the Man Servant looked after me reasonably well except for one ocassion when I desperately needed to go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and have a drink. Well, I must say, there was the Man Servant taking his time standing in front of the hand basin doing god knows what!

Well, I was in a hurry so I had to elbow him aside and have a quick drink from the tap which he had thoughtfully left running.  Unfortuntely he left it running too fast and I throughly wet myself and sprayed water all over the floor whilst having my morning drink.

All in all he didn't look after me too badly and very kindly put out a blanket for my convenience when watching television in the evening although he did insist on talking to me right in the middle of the BBC News.  In fact I felt quite sorry for him one night as he only had mushroom soup for supper whilst I enjoyed a prime piece of steak from the Butcher!

Well to get back to the servants, the Chambermaid has returned from her visit to the Colonies, and I must say she has picked up some very bad habits and is getting a bit above herself and familiar. I mustn’t complain though as she is a hard worker, and feels the compulsion to do two or three loads of washing a day.

All in all life isn't too bad at the moment! I am being well fed and my bedding and litter tray is kept fresh at all times. I am receiving at least three brushings a day plus the odd hand job.