Well, the man servant is back from his week in Cornwall looking a little porky and has been galvanised into action by the maid (Cheryl). Sometime I think she is a bit over zealous, but I shouldn’t complain as I do get the benefit of his labours….

I had an embarrassing moment the other morning when the man servant was brushing me, flatulence struck and I couldn’t contain myself. Rick the Man Servant, cheeky bastard that he is, commented “if brushing you this gently makes you fart you are going to shit yourself when I do it harder”. Its times like these when I wonder why I continue to employ him.

 

In spite of the Man Servants cheek, I did allow him to have his parents round on Father’s Day for a meal and once again my good nature was abused as the table was set with an  un-ironed tablecloth…oh my I was so embarrassed.

 

My next door neighbour, Minnie, is venturing out again and seems to have put the trauma of being chased by the large slobbery dog behind her. Mind you, when one is being chased by a dog the best place for it is far behind one ….. the further the better.

I am still a bit anxious when strolling around the estate, after my recent experience with that uncouth Bertie and insist that one of the servants (preferably the woman) accompany me at all times.

 I have been a little under the weather recently and had to visit the clinic yesterday, the Doctor suspects polyps, not down there I hasten to say, but in my throat.

Apparently the throat and ears are connected so I have to have daily drops in my ears, and have also been given a long acting steroid injection which is supposed to last for a month. I hope that I do not have to use the ear drops for that long as they are not very pleasant. If I succumb to this malaise again, I shall have to be anaesthetised and a small camera stuck down my throat which I am not looking forward to at all. I suspect that my Servants are a little worried too possibly because they are more concerned about their wages than they are about my health!!

Well it’s been a fortnight fraught with difficulty.  First of all the Woman Servant has gone traipsing off to “god knows where” …. Cape Town I believe.  She hasn’t even worked for me for a whole year and there she is taking time off without so much as a by your leave. It wouldn’t have been so bad if she had left proper instructions for the Man Servant whose standards have slipped badly since she left.

The first sign that all was not as it should be was on the first morning, while I was taking my morning constitutional in the grounds, escorted by the Man Servant, I felt an urgent need to use the lav. Well, we all have to do that but to be watched by him and the Servant next door poking her head over our wall, was just too much!

Things have slipped so badly that I have to go into the servants quarters first thing in the morning and remind him of the order of his duties i.e. breakfast, then help with brushing my hair and getting ready for the day and finally a stroll round the grounds. Only then should he feel free to prepare his own breakfast. Well he seems to have misread the signals, and has assumed that my coming into his room is some sort of invitation on my part and so he has taken to fondling and kissing me. I shall soon put a stop to that nonsense and I will also have to remind him that if he doesn’t like it there is always the Job Centre just round the corner.

Over the Bank Holiday weekend my man has been replacing the defective floor in the bathroom, it’s only a small bathroom but the way he has been going on one would think he has been rebuilding the Taj Mahal….what nonsense and of course, because of these efforts, meals and grooming have only been done at irregular hours…..yes definately off to the job centre for him.

Another bit of bad news is that there was an intruder in the grounds today ….  Bertie, I think he is called? Anyway he became quite aggressive and I must say the Man Servant did sort him out, but I do think that he could have interceded earlier.

I have been indisposed for the past day or two and took to my bed. Both my Servants took me to the vet who said that my asthma has returned in full force and gave me another steroid injection and I am now feeling much better but I did overhear the vet saying that if it returns they may have to anaesthetise me and look down my throat for something called Polyps … I don’t like the sound of that at all.

The Woman Servant returned from Cape Town exhausted as usual from al lthe travelling and the Man Servant went off to Cornwall on holiday the following day … one does wonder …..